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Xanax for Gay Weddings http: This can all translate into feelings of pressure to couple up. Not everyone needs to be in a couple nor should be. Many single gay men are happy, valuing their autonomy and personal freedom like the muscled bad boy described above. There are things many men have to give up to be in a couple. No problem there, but one needs to be honest with oneself about his true needs and wants and do the hard work of freeing oneself from societal and family pressures. I have worked with many gay widowers—guys with good relationship track records, who are anxiously seeking a new mate, but are sabotaging themselves in the ways described above.

Upon close examination, we jointly discovered their worry that if they got romantically involved with someone else, they would be abandoning their previous mate. I have had several grieving gay men tell me: You might still be living together, or stay best friends. You are no longer official partners, but worry if you met someone, he would be upset—or perhaps you would, because it would be too painful to finally say good bye. Instead of getting rid of the old loves, the heart makes room for new ones—but we have to be willing to open up and welcome them.

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For me, older gay men came to symbolize the one thing more inspiring than heartbreak:


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